Have you ever heard of the term, "crazymaking?" It really is a actual word. Crazymaking is what psychopaths/sociopaths/verbally abusive people do to make you think you have lost your mind and/or create enough chaos that you cannot think clearly. Things like claiming you didn't say something you did, claiming they said something they didn't, making up something to argue about that you should have known about via osmosis, etc. Crazymaking continues to freak you out because the (usually) guy in question will say how much he loves you, then say, "what is wrong with you? I don't know what you are talking about. You are too sensitive." You begin to doubt how you feel, because sociopaths tend to be with people who are emotional beings (sensitive to others, anxiety prone, striving to do the best thing). So by claiming you are the one with faults, you get to spend all your time analyzing what you did, why you did it, was it really you, what can you do differently, all the while the sociopath is moving on--watching a movie, working on his car, oblivious, or actually unsympathetic to what he just caused.
The sad thing is crazymaking is just so crazy making, that you need a mac truck to make you realize it is happening to you. It becomes a part of your life slowly, creeping like a strangling vine, so that you don't realize it has sucked all the joy and happiness from your life. In one way I was very blessed. What happened to our family was horrible, but it woke me up from the crazymaking that kept me at bay...unable to enjoy life to the fullest...always worried...always analyzing...always doubting my self. Now being independent, on my own, something I thought was not possible, IS possible and I am a much better, happier, sane person because of it.
If something eats at your soul and makes you continually unhappy...run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. You CAN do it.
