Why I Tribe

I am part of the #compelledtribe , a group of bloggers that encourage one another to blog on various topics. 

I'll be honest. I've been failing at my goal to blog. I love writing. I have since I was little. But there is either not enough time, or worse, you find the time and you're stuck with writers block.

Our topic this month was, "Why I Tribe," meaning, why do I do this. 

Reasons why I write for the #compelledtribe consort:

1. I find writing fun and I want to do more, but I need accountability. Getting a monthly email saying, "Hey you, get with the program" helps.

2. I find writing cathartic. Whether or not anyone reads it shouldn't be important, but when they do it makes me feel less alone in this big world.

3. I write to try and find my "tribe," my group of people that "get" me and understand me, and love me anyway (much harder than it sounds).

4. I write to help others. I've experienced bad relationships, court systems, single motherhood, and overwhelming feelings of inadequacy (many times during my job as a teacher). Maybe what I have learned can help others.

Love is Hard

Love is hard.

You start off young and naïve about love. The Fairytale, the True Love, the Happily Ever After are part of our childhood and tell us Love that Never Fails is possible.

But the majority of us waste our time, or on a positive note, get the opportunity to learn what not to do from our first attempts at relationships in high school or college. Like believing when someone says you are the love of their life, and then dumps you for another the next week.

Be that as it may, given the numbers of people on dating websites, the majority of us don't find THE one and we only learn more lessons from our first marriage. It seems the majority of us meet the wrong guy and give him the wrong finger (That pretty much sums up my life). And we end up in the divorce column.

For many reasons this is a good thing: never let someone control you, or physically/mentally abuse you. Love, true love, should never hurt, make you doubt yourself, or make you feel worthless. If you feel this way, it's not love and you should leave. I've been there.

Lying here now, after a Hallmark series marathon, thinking of the comfort love can bring makes me melancholy. Being held at night, having someone hold your hand, smiling when you picture their face. Those are good things that everyone should get to experience, but love is fleeting and few of us get to experience it long term in a healthy relationship. Those that do are truly lucky.

Love is hard. Meeting people is hard. Finding someone that has the same values and core beliefs is hard. Investing in trying is hard. Trying hard and realizing it's not mutual is hard. Falling for someone you can never have is hard. Trying to find love is hard.

PS- if you are posting on any dating websites, please don't take selfies in bed, especially with a SpongeBob pillow. That is all.

Bitterness and Social Media: How to be part of the solution.

I was trolling Instagram when a post caught my eye, "Why are people so bitter? Post 20 photos of a wedding, great. Post your gym selfie, way to go. I'm happy for them. Stop being bitter."

Bitter...

Usually I am all about the love: positive, upbeat, grateful. But I can admit I have been something that looks like bitter lately and I stared at that persons post and wondered why. When I see people's happily smiling faces, why do some make me want to throw up or hope they catch the flu soon?

I honestly think if folks, such as this gal, notice people being bitter, maybe the better resolve would be to try and be a friend, try and shine a ray of light on that bitterness because bitterness is a flashing light saying,

No, things are not okay here.

My bitterness lately stemmed from unfulfilled promises, posers who pretend to be caring when in truth they are the furthest from it, and a break up.

It's natural, when life is crappy, to feel crappy. We can't, every day, decide to make lemonade, because crap is not lemons.



But we will be able to ride the storm and get back to normal much more quickly if we have the help of friends, or caring acquaintances, or even nice strangers to lift our moods through altruism rather than selfies. So go ahead and notice some bitterness happening out there, but instead of complaining about the bitterness, note that its an emotional state with underlying causes and be a friend. Because the world needs more of those.