I headed to the Goodwill, toddler in tow, to, hopefully, grab an item someone told me was there. But, as usual, said item was gone.
But of course this is not the end of the story, because the toddler who likes to shop is with me. I have a Masters degree, but I have yet to master a 3 year old. Although I tell her to pick one item, we suddenly have 10 with the cute, "please Mommy" plea that follows. I pride myself on getting the booty down to 5 items and head to the check out which is completely empty.
Me: My daughter has this bag of change she has been saving... since there are no customers, would you mind counting it up and letting her buy her things?
Clerk: Sure.
Me: (whisper Mommy voice) I can cover whatever is left as obviously she bought too much stuff.
Clerk: No problem.
At this point clerk starts counting money in a way that seems incredibly slow. The teacher in me wants to help, but waits, not wanting to offend. At this time a customer approaches so I help said clerk count the remainder.
Me: Here is 50 and there is 42 (cents, pointing to piles).
In the interim, said toddler has lost all interest in her newly acquired junk and is enamored with the automatic door. Overly taxed mom worries this might lead to a run out into the parking lot, so my gaze is on her.
I pay minimal attention as the clerk says the total (14.82) and proceeds to ring it on my card.
I stand there, attempting to watch my toddler and wondering why the girl is not putting away any of the change. She just stands there...grinning.
Me: Are we good? Are you putting the money away?
Clerk: That's your money.
Me: I'm not following, you counted it to use?
Clerk: You said you'd pay for it so I rang it all on the card. I'm sorry, I thought you wanted it all on the card.
Me: (in my mind) Did you seriously think I asked you to count out 6$ in change so I could take it back? Does that make any sense?? Do people regularly do that? You must be joking?
Me: (in real life--scrambling to pick up 6$ in change) That's okay, I'll just pick this up and use it...next time...
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Missed Opportunities
Hindsight is 20/20~so cliché and yet so true.
I look back, many times, and realize the signs were there...I just didn't realize they were signs.
I now look back and say, "If only I had left when that happened...if only I took that opportunity and closed the door on that part of my life."
I remember the first opportunity..to close the door...it presented itself like a knife in my back.
He seemed rather distant, uncaring, and rude. I remember trying to tickle him or something and he pushed me down onto the stairs. It was a rude push, an "I don't care if you get hurt" push and I remember feeling hurt, not physically, but emotionally although looking back it could of been a little of both.
Not long after, he disappeared. Up and left...I remember thinking he went somewhere but the somewhere turned out to be his home town, 1200 miles away. There was no goodbye, or honesty, nothing. As I recall, he wouldn't even answer his phone.
What does a 20 year old do but cry and beg for him to come back. I remember his lame excuse that we, "never did anything fun" and I was lame enough to promise him I would change if he came back. Mistake #1--never change yourself to please another.
I remember him dating while he was down there...and telling me about it. Mistake #2--don't settle to be someone's second.
But I was desperate...I was what no one ever wants to be---unwanted. And I was desperate to be wanted again.
He eventually came back...I can't recall how long he was gone or what finally made him come back but this has to be the biggest regret looking back.
"Good riddance" today's me would have said. "I don't want someone who is so disrespectful, uncaring, and mommy controlled." But today's me wasn't there, it was the idiotic, naïve, incredible hurt me that didn't want to be "unwanted" and "unloved."
And so it goes.
I look back, many times, and realize the signs were there...I just didn't realize they were signs.
I now look back and say, "If only I had left when that happened...if only I took that opportunity and closed the door on that part of my life."
I remember the first opportunity..to close the door...it presented itself like a knife in my back.
He seemed rather distant, uncaring, and rude. I remember trying to tickle him or something and he pushed me down onto the stairs. It was a rude push, an "I don't care if you get hurt" push and I remember feeling hurt, not physically, but emotionally although looking back it could of been a little of both.
Not long after, he disappeared. Up and left...I remember thinking he went somewhere but the somewhere turned out to be his home town, 1200 miles away. There was no goodbye, or honesty, nothing. As I recall, he wouldn't even answer his phone.
What does a 20 year old do but cry and beg for him to come back. I remember his lame excuse that we, "never did anything fun" and I was lame enough to promise him I would change if he came back. Mistake #1--never change yourself to please another.
I remember him dating while he was down there...and telling me about it. Mistake #2--don't settle to be someone's second.
But I was desperate...I was what no one ever wants to be---unwanted. And I was desperate to be wanted again.
He eventually came back...I can't recall how long he was gone or what finally made him come back but this has to be the biggest regret looking back.
"Good riddance" today's me would have said. "I don't want someone who is so disrespectful, uncaring, and mommy controlled." But today's me wasn't there, it was the idiotic, naïve, incredible hurt me that didn't want to be "unwanted" and "unloved."
And so it goes.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Do you ever wonder where your brain is? This is a question I ask myself frequently, but more so today...how do you use up the fabric softener and go to do the second load of clothes and think, 'did I use up the fabric softener?' Resulting in a peek in the trash to confirm, yes, you have officially lost your ability to think straight.
Multi tasking can be a good thing...I hate wasted time waiting for a doctor appointment or any appointment for that matter, and that handy-dandy phone obsession can help me do SOMETHING with that wasted time, even if it is scrabble... However, multi tasking because you are a single mom with too much to do and not enough time is not a good thing. It leads to brain confusion and THAT my friends, is definitely what I am suffering from.
Since I am a teacher, my summer has been spent leisurely sitting poolside sipping martinis...NOT! Summer has yet to come for me! Unless you call sitting on the mower a summer event...Instead, I am class bound...attempting to cram 2 classrooms of educational materials into one small space because the school is adding a teacher. Looking at all the wonderful things sitting piled up with no home to go to as said school doesn't think kindergarten needs more space and deserve to be inside...drives me to distraction. I fumble from one item to the next, 'hey, where does this pen go? (walk to pen can) Oh there is that missing tub (walk past pen can and completely forget task at hand). My hours end up being frenzied realizing I am not getting enough done...did I mention this is summer? And I am NOT paid to work summer? Sigh.
Multi tasking can be a good thing...I hate wasted time waiting for a doctor appointment or any appointment for that matter, and that handy-dandy phone obsession can help me do SOMETHING with that wasted time, even if it is scrabble... However, multi tasking because you are a single mom with too much to do and not enough time is not a good thing. It leads to brain confusion and THAT my friends, is definitely what I am suffering from.
Since I am a teacher, my summer has been spent leisurely sitting poolside sipping martinis...NOT! Summer has yet to come for me! Unless you call sitting on the mower a summer event...Instead, I am class bound...attempting to cram 2 classrooms of educational materials into one small space because the school is adding a teacher. Looking at all the wonderful things sitting piled up with no home to go to as said school doesn't think kindergarten needs more space and deserve to be inside...drives me to distraction. I fumble from one item to the next, 'hey, where does this pen go? (walk to pen can) Oh there is that missing tub (walk past pen can and completely forget task at hand). My hours end up being frenzied realizing I am not getting enough done...did I mention this is summer? And I am NOT paid to work summer? Sigh.
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