Why I Tribe

I am part of the #compelledtribe , a group of bloggers that encourage one another to blog on various topics. 

I'll be honest. I've been failing at my goal to blog. I love writing. I have since I was little. But there is either not enough time, or worse, you find the time and you're stuck with writers block.

Our topic this month was, "Why I Tribe," meaning, why do I do this. 

Reasons why I write for the #compelledtribe consort:

1. I find writing fun and I want to do more, but I need accountability. Getting a monthly email saying, "Hey you, get with the program" helps.

2. I find writing cathartic. Whether or not anyone reads it shouldn't be important, but when they do it makes me feel less alone in this big world.

3. I write to try and find my "tribe," my group of people that "get" me and understand me, and love me anyway (much harder than it sounds).

4. I write to help others. I've experienced bad relationships, court systems, single motherhood, and overwhelming feelings of inadequacy (many times during my job as a teacher). Maybe what I have learned can help others.

Love is Hard

Love is hard.

You start off young and naïve about love. The Fairytale, the True Love, the Happily Ever After are part of our childhood and tell us Love that Never Fails is possible.

But the majority of us waste our time, or on a positive note, get the opportunity to learn what not to do from our first attempts at relationships in high school or college. Like believing when someone says you are the love of their life, and then dumps you for another the next week.

Be that as it may, given the numbers of people on dating websites, the majority of us don't find THE one and we only learn more lessons from our first marriage. It seems the majority of us meet the wrong guy and give him the wrong finger (That pretty much sums up my life). And we end up in the divorce column.

For many reasons this is a good thing: never let someone control you, or physically/mentally abuse you. Love, true love, should never hurt, make you doubt yourself, or make you feel worthless. If you feel this way, it's not love and you should leave. I've been there.

Lying here now, after a Hallmark series marathon, thinking of the comfort love can bring makes me melancholy. Being held at night, having someone hold your hand, smiling when you picture their face. Those are good things that everyone should get to experience, but love is fleeting and few of us get to experience it long term in a healthy relationship. Those that do are truly lucky.

Love is hard. Meeting people is hard. Finding someone that has the same values and core beliefs is hard. Investing in trying is hard. Trying hard and realizing it's not mutual is hard. Falling for someone you can never have is hard. Trying to find love is hard.

PS- if you are posting on any dating websites, please don't take selfies in bed, especially with a SpongeBob pillow. That is all.